Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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