She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize