you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
