Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Still dying that you shit outside
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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