spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
