Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
