And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
