News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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