When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
