Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
