: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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