I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My vagina is officially offended.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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