Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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