Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
