cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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