3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
