I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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