Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
you made out with another girl for some wings
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
