What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
