i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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