Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
