i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
it's not cheating when I paid for it
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
