I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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