my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
