Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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