we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
