cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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