Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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