we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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