So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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