Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
