If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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