Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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