I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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