I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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