please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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