After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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