I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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