You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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