There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
