I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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