I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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