I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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