Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Is that your mom climbing in your window dude

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