he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
