If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize