Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just high enough for therapy.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
