I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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