sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
