walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize