Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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