i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My dick has a subreddit
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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