I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We were destined to go to rehab together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
