Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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