we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
