His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
