their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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