I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize