Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
