Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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